Title: Strong Possessions|
Rating: mild NC/17
Summary: It's all about his pride and his needs.
Disclaimer: Hornblower and co. don't belong to me and I'm not making money off this.
Hey I'm new to this community but not new in loving Hornblower!
And I ...
And I sometimes, I feel like you are my bodyguard.
You know how to keep me safe.
When I am not commanding you.
When I am not commanding you to.
You said, there's no reason to celebrate.
But champagne was spilling down your fingers.
You said, I will provide the right answer.
But you stayed in silence when I asked why.
No fear, no doubt in your clear, almost electric eyes but you made it clear for me, where your place was.
Before me, you knew that it was you commanding me.
I am not commanding you.
No, I'm not commanding you to.
But if you want to.
Just shoot and see me fall.
Because I am not used to this.
Never knew I wanted this so much that almost hurts.
I am your commander.
No fear, no doubt I'm your Captain and I will provide the answer.
But now this little sultry desire of mine, is staining my pride.
I wish I had known how to stop you from walking away.
Memories are coming, hunting me.
I'm their prey and right now I only want you to hold me tight because this is a lonely night.
But you said I'll soon be gone.
Forever not yours.
And I guess I've hurt you too many times.
But you are what makes me strong.
But you are what makes me weak.
Just like you make me weak when your hands reach out for me.
Even in your sleep.
One year later and it's like you never went away.
It's like you always stayed beside me.
And you said, I'll be gone.
Forever not yours.
I should had known how to stop you.
Forever not yours.
It won't be long now.
Forever not yours.
And then I saw you.
And then you appeared again.
It's like anything changed.
It's like anything washed you away from my life.
Yes, memories keep coming through.
And I'm realizing that the good ones hurt more than the bad ones do.
Lying in this old and battered bed, never thought I would end up like this.
Just hush Horatio.
Hush please I never got it right.
I always got away.
Inner voices coming out from damp and moist recesses of my mind.
My hands are sweaty and I can't stop them from exploring my loneliness and hunger.
Loneliness is devouring me.
Traitor king, bored and unsatisfied, you want me to sink down in this black ocean of yours.
And hunger is a demanding animal, controlling me.
A long tail and sharp teeth makes my body scream for something that I can't bring myself to give.
And they say that I never got it wrong.
I always got it right.
They don't know me as much as he does but they are having fun in testing my patience harder now.
Some time has passed and I'm slightly off with all these things I could have do in a not so distant past.
Yes, they are trying my patience harder now.
My lips are stained with wine and your name.
I guess forever.
I guess it's too late for me to stop this craziness, this feverish need of mine.
All these memories stuck here between my heart and brain.
I miss you … William.
It always got away.
When I had it nailed it was ever so slightly off.
Ashamed of myself, without any place left to hide the fact that I can tame the French and all its soldiers but not myself and my dark needs.
And why forever not yours?
And why forever gone?
Sheets sliding around my legs and ankles they are tangling me, tying me like the slave I became.
Slave of yours and all these moist and burning desire of mine.
And I'm struggling to get back on track but somewhat it pales to the fact that I will never got it right.
All this need of mine.
I just want some time with you.
With all the things I could do in a not so distant past.
I'm trying my patience harder now.
Seems like everything moves on its own.
It's against the law.
It's against what I swore to serve and protect.
How could I allow myself in falling so hard and so low?
Yet I don't know.
This room is too little!
I'm suffocating with something hungry and dark pulling me down.
It's a tide Sir a tide!
If these cold and soothing waters would had the pity to swallow me down with all my lost pride.
Pride you are trying my patience hard now!
Everything moves on its own and I would like to learn what kind of power you are holding on me.
What should I do with myself and my ruined pride?
It's coming I can't stop it.
Sir, oh Sir!
William oh my William!
Eyes closed and gaping mouth.
Now tell me your story I will grant you all the time in this word.
No need to worry you have the power to make me strong and make me weak.
Throwing back my head, nails digging into my tender skin.
I'm trying to suppress my galloping tide.
I can't restrain it, I can't stop it.
I can't slay it like I do with my enemies.
It's coming bringing your name on my lips.
I can't blame alcohol.
I can't blame long nights spent in staring at the ceiling with my hand wrapped around my unsatisfied cock.
I can't blame you.
But they are saying that when you will stop looking then you will find.
I so want you William.
Forever not yours.
I so want your body William.
Make me strong, make me weak.
Fingers sticky, wet and dirty with my juice.
I feel ashamed and sensual.
Sensual and aroused.
Aroused and needy.
I should clean myself and restrain these dirty needs of mine but my mind is lost, gone somewhere and I allow myself in hearing my rapid breath slowly returning normal.
Breathing, my strong scent of sweat mixed with pleasure.
And again, your name is on my lips, a soft whisper full of need and desire.
Maybe a whimper because I'm not getting it right like they think I always do.
I don't have the strength to suppress it.
I am not as strong as they think.
Captain aye my captain!
Dawn is coming bringing harsh light to illuminate all my sins.
And I'm thinking that everything moves along.
I hope the rumor's wrong.
falling asleep without even realizing that now he's standing there, looking down at you with aquamarine light coming from the first lazy rays of the morning.
I stay there, unmoving and unblinking.
Naked and without shame.
Moments will pass but in the morning light I found out that my patience was tried hard and now I only want a ceasefire.
Your name is all I have left to say.
Your name is all I have to say.
To say, for bringing you down on me, in this unmade bed.
Cover my body with yours, send me somewhere else, make it less harder please.
I'm struggling to get on track, spilling down so much of my pride.
You make me strong and you make me weak.
I'm loosing control over myself, I won't stop in touching and kissing you.
I like it.
Make me yours.
I was forever not yours.
Give me a land.
Give me a strength.
I hate this weakness of mine.
I'm your commander.
I command you to.
And Sir your eyes are wide like an ocean.
I can see something hiding behind them, something deep like a seabed.
I like it.
I like the way yo got me here, down here.
Electric storm of yours don't fight it.
Just learn it with me.
It's falling down Sir.
We are loosing control but it feels so right.
29 is a burning number but right now they can tattoo it all over my skin.
It burns and stings but keep kissing me.
You make me weak.
You make me strong.
William don't stop your hands on my thighs, between them I can't refuse you anything.
Ask me and I will give you.
Like a defeated captain handling his sword.
I'm consigning it to you.
Surrender Sir, aye Sir I'm surrendering to you.
I prefer to blame my weakness then your eyes full of lust looking down on me.
Between my spread thighs I'm feeling like a wanton whore or a lucky lover.
Please don't stop your hands.
I'm loosing control right now but it feels so right
Tracing old scars, fingertips dancing light upon them.
Each of them have a story to tell, I want to stay in silence and hear these thoughts through your breath and sweet moans.
Where you've been all these months?
You don't know how you make me weak.
I should hate you.
I should drink salt water and see sea beds.
But between all these various forms of love you chose the most high and romantic.
You are like a bodyguard, you keep me safe at bay.
If I'm your commander, your captain and you are part of my ship, then you are an extension of myself.
Never made love with a man and my nails are digging into your skin, sorry William.
It hurts and burns but you smile and kiss my frowning sweaty browns.
“It's my sex Sir.”
“It's my love Horatio.”
And everything is all right.
Look me and let me learn all your secrets that are hiding behind your polite smiles and clear blue eyes.
They say that especially when you don't understand everything is understood.
And they say that even if you don't understand you have to believe.
In this bed that is too little for the two of us.
In this room where our scents are mixing forever.
In your lips I believe in every word you are saying.
You push and I moan.
Sweaty hand reaching for your testicles and massaging them while our lips are crushing in a bruising and burning kiss.
They will say that I missed the point but you will point your finger at me saying that I will have to believe.
Yes, there you will go once again pointing your finger at me, saying that I have to believe.
I guess it's all about letting you in.
I guess it's all about how the tide will come and wash my shores.
I guess that it was always about you and me.
And you are spilling inside of me.
I can hear your heartbeat through my skin and this is what I wanted to hear.
What I always wanted because ain't no sunshine when you are gone and it's not warm when you are away.
You went away for too long.
This wait went for too long.
Your body, your weight is upon me and I'm licking and biting at your calloused fingers, they taste of salt and me.
Warm body and sweet, delicate words spilled in my ear.
Yes, you went away for too long but now I will make you stay.
Later duties will call us.
Later a captain will sit in his quarters between dusty charts and too many orders to follow.
Later Styles will wonder what happened to Lieutenant Bush's fingers.
Later I will make you moan my name.